My heart aches, my mind hurts and I feel nothing…..

I feel like no matter what we do as foreign in England will never be good enough to be integrated in the society, no matter how many years we spend living in this country, no matter how correct and just to the system we are there will always be a discrepancy between an English person and a foreign ( even though they have the neutralisation, and by law they are a British citizen). I have experienced at the beginning of this year the most ridiculous thing, unfortunate and unfair, and although I have tried everything and I’ve gave loads and loads of explanation the answer was NO. The story that I want to share with you today is about the border officer, the way they are implementing their power and how small they can make you feel if they want to. I’ve been travelling from Romania by car after a month of holiday, and we wore ( me and my partner ) returning home- London has been my home for the past 14 years, with us in the car was my partners brother (George)and his nephew(Abi). So, after 30h of driving, we got to the French border and everything was fine we passed, and than we got to British border and guess what happened? Yep, that’s right we got pulled over. To add here that the reason we got pulled over is because George has applied for the settlement status at some point and although he had all the papers than he wasn’t given one, and because the application was unsuccessful they’ve pulled us over. Now next step for them was to come by the car and ask all sorts of questions like: what’s the relationship between us all? Do you speak English? Have you been here in Uk? Are you planning to reapply? What’s the reason of the visit? How long you’re going to stay? Do you have money with you? What job you have? Do you have a return ticket? Every single question was answered, the officer left and came back to ask him( George ) to take his luggage and go with her, he panicked, I did , we wore all very stressed and hungry and shocked in the same time because we knew that even though Brexit took place, everyone is allowed to enter Uk for visitation at least, but looks like we wore wrong. They took George inside, got him a translator, (although I’ve begged them to let me come inside to be with him because he never had to deal with police, officers and so on , and he is very shy, there was no way they will allow me), and an interview took place, what they’ve asked, how they translated, how fair they wore I won’t be able to say, but I can tell you this, they have searched for every single reason not to let him in the country, and why is that? Because they can, because they have the power to play with you, they have the power to legally mock you, they can strip you off your dignity and you won’t even know when that happened. Everything that happened lasted 6:30’ more or less, after 5 h someone came outside to let us know that they won’t let George inside the Uk , I was shocked I froze, she said she doesn’t have a reason yet but I’ll receive all the papers once he will be released and we will have to wait for the French police to escort us back to France.

We ended up waiting for another hour for him to be released to us, and once the French police came we wore escort back. Did I mentioned that we told them they are visiting us and the don’t have any British pounds with them and that we are going to provide for them while they will be in Uk? Did I mentioned that at some point an officer came to tell us that we are not obligated to wait for him , they will not detain us, and that is up to us if we want to stay? ( is not like we had a choice; I did wonder that if British people behave like that? If they do leave family behind? ) I knew from the very first moment of me moving to the Uk that British people are cold , but I didn’t expect them to be this cold. And I do know that every nation has her rotten apples, and this story doesn’t apply to everyone but unfortunately I know a lot of people relays to this behaviour, one way or another we have during our years been mocked or humiliated or just treated like crap.

The only luck George had was that his brother manage to find a friend that was travelling back to Romania from Britain and he was on the ferry ⛴️ when we wore told that George wasn’t granted the visa. Once Alex has arrived to France he called us and waited at least another 40’ till we got the permission to get out of the borders with George in the car.

Did I mentioned that all this has happened in the night and first train the one we lost was at 1:20 am? Did I mentioned that nobody was giving us any news about what was happening with George ? Did I mentioned that was terrible cold outside and we had to stay with our engine on? O well, and if you think this is the end , no no no there is more…

So we’ve dropped George, and he was on his way back to Romania, another 30h + on the road as this time they wore travelling on a bigger vehicle, and after we said goodbye I drove back to the border, once again Calais France and that was quick pass, and than Calais England where guess what: another set of questions like the following ( you will easily notice the racism toward everyone that is not British): – on the booking are 4 passengers? Yes, – where is George? Well 🙄, as you didn’t allow him inside Uk we took him back? – But where you took him? For real 😧 , and we told him where?( but what I wanted to say was: why do you care? What’s your concern? ) – where do you guys live in England?-what job you do? They asked my partner: I can’t see any status on your passport, do you have any? I did gave him the old passport where the status has been made. And I need to mention I didn’t have it before hand as when we first enter the lady in the boot said that she can see that he has settle status, so I thought that now this is automatically and there is no need to carry the 2 passports with us, but how wrong I was. Than they’ve asked us to pull the car over and open the boot and the back of the car, and than I’ve realised what concern they had.

Did I mentioned that I have a British passport? Did I mentioned that I gave £1500 for it( that how much it costs), that I have learned the history of Britain and I have tested my English, did I mention that I’ve never had been late on doing my payments towards GOV. , and with all this they have managed to make me feel so small and unimportant, uncomfortable. All they care was to not allow immigrants inside UK, no matter the cost, no matter if they are good people or bad. Nothing matters anymore…

So my question is: when was humanity lost in England?